How to help yourself, step 2

Hi All,

Thanks for following my blog. It is my honor to present you these steps to help yourself, and to be able to show you the way to become a better you. That is after all what life is about, is it not?

Last time we looked at getting rid of things that drained our energy, this time, we shall look at another thing that take away our self-control. Namely addictions. You may think I am going to talk solely of addictions to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, but no, there are addictions of other things that are even more common, even some that we may not think of as very damaging. Like the addiction to coffee, chocolate, comfort food, and sugar.

And yes, these are no better than addictions to alcohol, cigarettes and drugs, believe it or not, any addiction we have, even some we do not think of as addictions, are taking away our self-determination and undermining our confidence in ourselves. So it is a serious matter. The book I am getting the points from have even said it like this; before you can knock your addictions you are not ready to go to a life coach for coaching, and this because you are unable to control yourself completely.

In this book the author wrote about her addiction to coffee. She never thought of the one cup of coffee she had every morning as an addiction, and would tend to agree that that is not an addiction, but she goes on to tell about the effect of not having that coffee, and that is mind boggling to hear that she had such bad withdrawal symptoms when she quit drinking this coffee, that it proved to have been an addiction.

This proves that we may have addictions we do not even think of as addictions in life. There are many that can be addicted to stuff that they do not think is an addiction. One friend of mine thought of his marijuana smoking as something he could do every day without getting addicted. However, the problem of his addiction was that the argument went like this; I am not addicted because I can quit when I want to, but I do not want to stop it, because I enjoy it. Some have might heard other people say something similar about different addictions.

We can be addicted to many things like coffee, sugar, chocolate, cigarettes, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, and complaining. It is things we do not always think of as an addiction, however, when they take control over you, and you get symptoms of needing to have it when you do not get it, it is by definition an addiction. It is scary to think what this does to your brain.

In research they have found that the brain is effected by the addiction, and learn to crave the things we eat, drink or do. It removes our control over ourselves. This is serious. It means we do not have full control over ourselves. The book author even define the addictions as being so bad for us that we are not ready for going to a coach before we have managed to take back the full power over our brain and over our addictions. I think some addictions can be solved with a coach, but I see the point of the author, due to not having full control our oneself, you might not be able to execute the plan the coach will put up for you.

Though most of us have some addictions, it is important to remember in the process of going to remove them, that not succeeding is just a step on the journey to managing to rid yourself of the addiction. It is important to work on them one by one. It is suggested that you write them all down and get rid of them one by one, if you do not yet succeed, do not beat yourself up, you just need another, new plan for how to manage it. It is like coaching. If one plan do not work to your satisfaction, we try another plan. You often have many different options in trying to quit something.

How to do this step: Getting rid of addictions

We are now going to look at how you should get rid of addictions. The first step is to become aware that you have an addiction. This is not always as easy to see as you think. It can be that the brain fool you into thinking that something is not an addiction, while it is something you need to have to feel good. Remember the wise words, your brain do not need anything to feel good. It will feel good when you decide to feel good.

Step 2, is listing all your addictions on a list, then, we will start to remove them one by one, one important part here is, one by one. Do not try to change too much at one time. This is important, it is something your brain needs. There is time for change, but getting rid of all bad habits all at once is too much to take, and so you are most likely to fail all of it, if you take on too much at one time.

Step 3, is crossing of the list when you have succeeded, here it is also time for a celebration. Such a great deal as quitting an addiction needs to be celebrated. It is an achievement, showing that you can do it. You are strong, maybe even stronger than you thought before you began. Have you ever thought of the memories where you did succeed in something? How do you feel when you think of them? I am sure you, as I, feel like a winner, just in that moment when you succeeded. In NLP, we learn to use such moments for all it is worth to prove to ourselves that we can. We can do it. All humans are GREAT MIRACLES. Some of us just have not noticed it themselves yet.

My own experience with addictions

In my days I have discovered that I have many addictions. I was addicted to drinking coffee, I was addicted to sugar and especially chocolate and lollies, I was addicted to cigarettes, I was addicted to feeling sad for myself , yes even I was addicted to some things I do not even want to mention by name.

Now I will try to tell you that I am so lucky that I have succeeded not being addicted to anything any longer. BUT; I cannot say that. In 2003 I was told by my doctor that I have developed diabetes type 2, and that I therefore had to stop eaten lollies and sugary things. That became a problem. I could not stop eating a chocolate every day. So I tried to stop having all sorts of things that had chocolate taste. I could not have chocolate milk shakes, because it aroused in me a need to eat a chocolate, a real one, not just the tast of it.

So, you can see, it is not that some can do it and some can not. We all have our own parts that we are struggling with. Other things I have tried to quit has been just as hopeless to stop. I have now gathered new faith in the fact that I should manage, and have made plans to stop all of my addictions.

However, to finish of on a positive note, I was addicted to coffee for a very long time. I remember I was travelling from home every morning at 5 am, and coming to the work place about 7.30 am. My work did not start until 9 am, and so I usually met with some of my friends at a coffee bar and sat there from 7.30 am to 8.45 am, drinking 3-4 different large Starbucks coffee every morning. I never thought of being addicted to coffee, but I must admit in hindsight that at that time I was addicted to it. When I started studying for teachers college I could no longer afford to drink that much coffee in a coffee shop, but I drank coffee from the cheap student bar in the University instead. When I came home to Norway, I then started a process to stop drinking coffee, by drinking tea for a month, then I went from normal tea over to herbal tea, and that way, I managed to stop my cravings for coffee. So I have managed one addiction, which mean I can manage all other addictions, too. So let us all start step 1, writing them all up on a list of addictions, and work on one after the other, then the task will not seem so large, and remember if you manage to win over one addiction, you will be able to win them all. Good JOB. Enjoy a life without addictions you too.

Have a great week, and enjoy a life free of addictions soon

All the best to you


I am a Life Coach, I live in Norway now, have been a teacher, lecturer, academic leader, worked in Banking, and in Call Center. Now I am sick, and had to slow down, so now I do my business over the internet mostly.

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  1. Interesting concept of becoming aware of addictions – and I so agree that our brains love the familiar – so any habit we try to change will cause a bit of a reaction from our beautiful brains – Now off to write a list of my addictions – could be a long one!

    1. Thanks for the comment Breege. It is good to see that you take the advice and start fighting the addictions. It is very important to have a brain free from addictions to become self-reliant thinkers. It is important to be able to control our wants and needs. Enjoy the process of putting them behind you. Remember, we should always enjoy the process as well as the final result. I have got a few I am working on too.

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